February 2006

Peksta managed to get Evita’s vote but, look who I got, none other than al presidente Thabo Mbeki, damn that piece of paper with my name on it looks good in his hands! For someone who learnt all he knows about HIV Aids over “that tinternet” you would’ve thought he’d have cast his SA Blog Awards vote online. No polling station for you lot, all you have to do is click on this button and vote for me in the category “Best Overseas South African Blog” before the end of this week. I know its a drag to do it every day but just think how much easier it is than having to give 5 bucks to Save the Children.

Whilst you’re there you may as well click on other proper bloggers sites and maybe take a look at the competition I’m up against, Dari Dawg, Chateau Toby, Reluctant Nomad, Terri’s Web etcetera etcetera. Check it out yourself.

Ngiyabonga Madoda!

I get a bad feeling the night before I am due to fly out to Washington DC when I see this symbol on all major weather forecasts. Having spoken to the guys out there yesterday they reckon the temperature including wind chill is getting down below -10 deg C.

Last time I was out there I went wild in Georgetown, got interviewed by the Discovery channel and went to a baseball game. This time I anticipate my skedule will be far more mundane although there might be an opportunity for me to go up to Philedelphia and catch the New York Ranger v Philly Flyers ice hockey game. I’ll keep you posted stateside!

Does everyone remember the yoyo phase. Did the whole world go through it or was it just Durban back in the late 80’s. Don’t try and pretend you didn’t have a yoyo, everyone did and if you didn’t then you were a proper loser! Yip, everyone has had one at some stage of their life but we all gave it up as just another passing pre-teen fad right. Right?

Well not this guy, his name is Hiroyuki Suzuki the current reigning world champ, CLEARLY he still sleeps with his favourite black coke breakdance yoyo under his pillow! Go and check out this video of him, he doesn’t have a life but he has the most amazing yoyo tricks in the world!

You’ve got to hand it to the Badger, its no mean feat to be crowned Britains most dangerous animal. Guy sums up last night when I bumped into him and Laz in Putney!

Of particular hilarity was Dave asking a VERY English bloke at the adjacent table whether he would consider the badger to be the most dangerous creature in the UK!?!?!? Read the rest of the entry here.

It was even funnier for me to see these two lovebirds sharing a romantic meal together behind Sarahs back?!

That is seriously funny, courtesy of the guys from Die Emmers

Ok this has managed to get the hackles up a bit! A political “analyst” and freelance “journalist” called Vuyo Mvoko has written an article in the Sunday Times expressing his hatred towards returning South Africans, go check out the the critique here!

Ask yourself this, if this man thinks this way then surely so do a thousand others? Or is he just a solitary idiot! I’m certainly hoping, as a saffa temporarily living abroard, that its the latter.

I have often heard it said before that the black man in South Africa does not want the white man there. Well, tough shit, I do not feel at home anywhere else in the world and so ultimately I WILL be coming HOME! Because Vuyo, I can make a difference. And just like the million or so Aussies who live abroad to enrich both their bank account and their own life experiences I intend to return home to live a better life than I can live abroad. Unfortunately for me though, whereas Aussies return to a stable economy, no crrime and jobs a-plenty, I must return to a country with a huge crime problem, no readily available job market, people like you who don’t want me back and an Aids problem made considerably worse by a government I was unable to vote for!!!!!

Not only will I be bringing money and expertise back to the country, but I shall also be bringing something far greater, the enthusiasm to build and develop our great country into something better than it is today!

Vuyo, you’re a sad excuse for a South African, sometimes people like you dampen my spirits, other times I laugh at you, but I always remind myself that its people like you who will one day make it fail and people like me who will one day make it a success.

Nominations are in, voting has started and guess what, I’ve been nominated for an award!

I’m not going to tell you to vote or even who to vote for, vote if you want to and vote for who you want to, just remember TO vote!

Ja whatever, go and vote for me in the category “Best Overseas Based South African Blog” on the SA Blog Awards website. You can cast one vote everyday, so cast your first vote TODAY.

Go and VOTE

There is also a vote button in the sidebar you can click on to cast your vote.

More than anything, this event highlights the abundance and quality of South African blogs. Congrats to my mates Warren and Guy for getting nominated. If you’re interested in finding out who I’m voting for then go check out this archive post.

Damn we had a good party on Saturday night. It was Phillipa’s 21st and she was left partying with all the oldies like Grayskull, Russ, Westie, Tom, Simon, Nigel etc. We bent it pretty hard and I can’t say I was on top of my game by the end of the night, in fact, weey heeey, I don’t even remember the end of the night.

Tom, the saffa with a silver fern tattoed on his leg, stupid mofo as he is, has put up a few photos over here.

Drop everything you’re doing, start detoxing now and then head straight to the travel agent and book a flight to London for the social highlight of your year. Thats right, e-productions is coming to London. Buckle up boys and girls, this summer you will be partying , whilst cruising on the Thames, with the Brewery Boys and the rest of Londons party crowd. Remember “Cocktails and Dreams”, banish that memory, this is going to be bigger and better!

Its gonna happen, I just need to organise it. Guest directors are welcome to contact me if they would like to be involved in organising the party, ‘cos damn, its about time we threw a mahusive bender on the Thames!

How much am I loving ebay, let me tell you! Just bought this pair of Spy Optic sunglasses from an ebay powerseller in the States. If I was lucky enough to find somebody who stocks these wicked sunnys in the UK then I would probably have to shell out +£100 BUT, off ebay, brand new and delivered, I got them for £38! After these arrived in the post I ordered another pair of Spy’s and the new Oakley Gascan! Roll on summer and dropping the roof of my convertible!

I’ve been uploading a few videos onto YouTube recently so I thought I’d tell you about it. I’ve mainly put football videos on it at the moment, FA Cup final, Semi-final, Chelsea trophy ceremony etc. Read the rest of this entry »

Went to watch Walk the Line last night with Simon and Claire. Haven’t seen a really great movie in a long time so maybe my sense of what actually constitutes great is a bit warped, but I have to hand it to the cast and crew, this is one great movie!

If you want to watch a movie which is wonderfully emotional, has brilliant music coupled with amazing acting and singing, all packeged into a superbly made production then its worth paying a few bucks to go watch this on the big screen. Just trust me if the adjectives above still haven’t sold you on it!

I had to laugh when reading this article about black economic empowerment (BEE) in South Africa. So funny and yet so true:

Now it is not just a few whites at the top, but a handful of new blacks joining them. This is ‘cappuccino’ empowerment — white foam sprinkled with chocolate.

OK I know most of you don’t actually bother reading Tucker Max’s blog but it really is worth it. I have extracted an excerpt from his recent book signing tour update (book currently on NY Times bestseller list) post. In it he transcripts an email he received from his mate Slingblade about his trip home after spending a bender weekend with Tucker. Seriously this made my eyes water, painfully funny, I can understand what Pat goes through on his 20 minute drive home!! Read it, I insist!

SPECIAL GUEST UPDATE: SLINGBLADE’S TRIP HOME
As you know if you have read the other updates, SlingBlade was at the Durham and Athens signings. He just wrote us this email about the drive back to Washington DC from Athens, GA. I don’t know if I have ever laughed as hard as I just did reading it [note: Hate is a huge Pittsburgh fan]:

Read the rest of this entry »

My ex-girlfriend of a few years and somebody still very close to my heart is getting married tomorrow. The wedding will take place outside London in the fabulous setting of the Leez Priory, with Kirk and Ryan coming along my liver is already feigning injury in anticipation of the amount we stand to drink!

Congratulations Kirsty and Sam! May your love for each other last forever and the joy of your wedding day be continued throughout your life together.

Just read two of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a long time. Peksta is a funny guy, today you can see why, if you head over to his site and read the post about the Rules of Pool - “Old vs New” you’ll laugh, trust me you will, maybe even as much as if you’d read the post about Wikipedia but we’ll see.

The only problem with his blog is you are unable to link to individual posts and there is no comment facility. He has been told a hundred times but he won’t liste, here goes though - You’re making a mistake buddy, a beeg mistake, like the time you decided to marry the spawn of Hitler and the brother of Pig Vomit. Sort it out!

Google Local for mobile - the poor mans sat nav. I already have satelite navigation (GPS) on my phone but I can’t wait for this to come out with UK maps on it. I have already installed the US version on my phone and it works a treat. Perfect for my next trip out there which is looking increasingly likely for the end of this month. Bring on DC!

In a couple of hours time I will be chauffeur driven up to Anfield Stadium to watch Liverpool take on Arsenal from a corporate hospitality suite (prawn sandwich box in the words of Roy Keane).

I’m supporting Arsenal, only because they have no chance of catching United and those upstart scousers need to be brought down a few notches!

Gonna take a few videos, photos etc. so look out for them soon.

On Sunday I spent the day watching the Olympic Snowboard Halfpipe and Downhill events with a Norwegian. For a country with only 4 million people they seem to be doing remarkably well at the Torino Games, currently in first place on the medal tally.

Here are a few interesting facts about Norway, when I am told these things I retain them, that is the secret to becoming a good trivial pursuit player!

Norway became an independant country back in 1905

The Prince of Denmark became the first King of Norway back in 1905

The King of Norway has three Veto rights in parliament during his reign. The veto has only been used once in history when the King vetoed the prime ministers decision to join Germany in WW II.

Norway’s wealth stems from its ownership of extensive oil fields.

You cannot lie about your salary in Norway. For 3 weeks of the year the Tax Bureau publishes everybodys tax records, earnings, salaries, assets etc and these can be viewed by all citizens.

All Credit cards have a passport photo printed on the back.

OK, I don’t really have the time to check all these facts so you can either take it as correct or scuttle off and trawl the net for the truth.

You might have gathered from my last post that the Sharks won on Saturday!! A superb victory for the boys in black to kick off the season. A lot of people don’t give their opponents as much credit as they deserve but the Chiefs are a good side to get a victory from. Well done boys, one swallow doesn’t make a summer but its great to start off with a win!

SKY Sports in their infinite wisdom almost caused a riot in London this weekend by failing to show the pre-advertised Sharks vs Chiefs game on Saturday. They inconvenienced thousands of people at home and in bars expecting to catch the game. Bars had advertised the game, people had made arrangements, the beer was flowing, 6pm rolled around …………….and the Catalan Dragons ran onto a rugby pitch! Who the f*ck are they!

What a bunch of flaming idiots!! They only have 4 channels, they only show 2 games a weekend from the greatest rugby competion in the world, their coverage is crap AND THEN they have the cheek to advertise a game and then without any reason, excuse or even mention of it they put on a third rate and particularly unpopular rugby league game! To have this privilege the paying customer must pay a small fortune.

There are allegedly over 1.4 million South Africans, Australians and New Zealanders living within the M25 ring road around London. Why, oh why did we not riot and smash down the Sky head office, believe me I wanted to. Wait hang on, I know why, its because we are used to shit service living in England!

Oh and another thing, Walkabouts really suck as well. The one in Watford staffed by english people, had never heard of The Super 14! When the manager was called she protested that it can’t be important ‘cos she had never heard of it. WHAT?!? After rubbing my eyes in disbelief I managed to calm down to the point of politely asking her to do ME a favour by switching on the game so that the people who had come to her high quality venue could watch it. I felt very privilegedly when she said she would let us watch it without sound. There were 10 people in the entire place and about 5 staff but she still wouldn’t switch the sound on in a bloody Australian themed sports bar, methinks the staff were trying to sleep!

One of the three members of the panel who will select Sven Goran Erikssons replacement as the new  England Football manager is an ignoramus of the highest order. Dave Richards the CHAIRMAN of the Premier League has lost the plot. Check out the article on the BBC where he claims:

We are the biggest nation in the world that plays this game and we want someone who can really move us on!

Oh yeah, really? Spoken like a true cro-magnon man from a council estate somewhere in England (under 60 mil people). Actually Davey boy have you given any thought to countries like Germany (80 mil), France (over 60 mil), Brazil (186 mil), Mexico (100 mil), Nigeria (100+ mil) etc etc all of whom are far bigger than the muddy little island you call home. Get a grip, get a life and get yourself a foriegn coach!

I dunno what it is about the mixture of Alcohol and Small Man Syndrome (which I definitely don’t have) but I always get the urge to put large people on my shoulders! I usually do it without any step-up aid and attempt the dead man lift! Now if you think I’m calling Grayskull large then, well, then you’d be right. If he wasn’t training for the Iron Man which requires fitness levels close to Ben Johnson’s at the Seoul Olympics, then in an attempt to play nice I’d probably call him girthy. Now lifting the half-pint (my size) Salmonator would have been easier, in fact, you NOW have permission to leave this site and head to the Salmonators new blog and see the photo I’m talking about, check it out.

The greatest competion in the world started this morning with a surprise, the Hurricanes smashed the Blues in the first upset of the tourney!

Tonight I’m off to the Walkabout in Watford with Dom to watch the Cheetahs v Bulls and then tomorrow after the snowboarding crew reunion braai we’re gonna get ready for a Shark Attack at O’neills in Putney!!

My anticipation of a great sharks result this year is immense. I fully expect the boys in black to rip the rest of the SA teams apart. We have some key players out at the moment, but once the Springbok captain returns, Tony Brown starts at flyhalf, Butch moves to inside centre and Brent Russell starts firing alongside our talented wings then we’ll have a team to shout about. My dark horses for this competion are the Chiefs and The Sharks.

Saw this Sharks training jersey on the internet, its the ducks nuts but its out of stock in the UK and not on the official website in Durban. If anyone knows how to get one then please let me know, there may be a finders fee involved!

Seeing Terry last night had more benefits than obtaining my regular dose of sarcasm and the look on Terry’s face when Liverpool get beaten. For 2 years I have been trying to get the photos of our trip to Portugal for Euro 2004 from him. Last night I succeeded in aquiring them so I thought I’d post a few of them.

We had one hell of a time over there in the hot summer that was 2004. We stayed at an awesome Villa down south on the Algarve just outside a small village called Guia which is allegedly the home of peri-peri (piri-piri) cooking. A few lazy days on the beach down there were followed by a mad weekend of football up in Lisbon.

The two stadiums in Lisbon, Estadio de Luz (Stadium of Light) - Benficas ground where England played Portugal - and the Alvalade stadium - Sportings ground where France played Greece - are two spectacular albeit completely different venues. What a tournament, what a country and what a trip, a life time of memories in the bank!

Last night saw us trek across London to watch the Charlton v Liverpool game for which Guy managed to organise great tickets in the Liverpool end to watch them get dicked 2-0. It wasn’t a great game by any measure, Man Utd’s second side would have given both these teams a bun but the singing in the first half whilst Liverpool weren’t losing was as ever melodic to say the least. I didn’t take a camera last night but I have uploaded a video which was taken last year at the Fulham v Liverpool game, you’ll need sound to watch this video -  now watch and listen to The Fields of Anfield Road.  Do it!

PS: Mr Chateau Toby goes into a bit more detail on his site being the diehard scouse fan that he is, he also made up some other stuff about our endeavours after the game, I quote:

The Fishmonger did his best to get us stabbed in Charlton after the game, by first joking with a local by jumping in front of her in the ATM queue (she had serious sense of humour failure), and by then leading us to the most obvious Charlton home fans pub. Entrance was only via the back door (Dave knew this cos he had read so on the Internet), with a password and a Charlton season ticket. Dave tried to blag our way in claiming that 4 Suff Africans and Terry (from London) just wanted a beer and ‘didn’t want no twouble’. I could have sworn that I heard Dave try use the password ‘Durka Durka Charlton Jihad’ immediately before the door slamed shut…………

Just found this really nifty plugin for my blog. It’s a firefox plugin which allows me to post directly to my blogs without navigating to them. First impressions are good but then I have only used it for 1 minute. Check it out!

Tonight I will be making the trip across London to The Valley for the Charlton v Liverpool game. Guy Laister managed to arrange 2 tickets for me in addition to the three he got for himself. Good going Toby!! So the Closet Liverpool Gloryhunter and I will join up with Guy, Dave and Kent along with the throngs of travelling Scouse fans in the Liverpool end.

If you’re ever going to do a football match then this is how you do it, in the away fans stand on a cold winters evening. Or alternatively in a corporate hospitality suite, which incidentally is what I will be doing on Valentines night. I have decided to forego the sham of valentines dinner with one of my groupies in favour of a trip up to Anfield to watch Arsenal take on Liverpool.

Germany, June 2006, The Football World Cup, planning is underway for the pilgrimage this year. We have in usual fashion left it very late again but as the Closet Scouser always says “We don’t watch important games on TV.” Anybody out there who is keen to join in let me know.

Right if you want to know what all the Durka Durka Muhammed Jihad is about regarding the cartoons which have offended the Muslim world then here they are. You see, its just A BLOODY CARTOON!!!

Pretty lame actually and clearly something only the Danes, Germans etc would find satirically funny. I do not see anything wrong with publishing these cartoons and I totally agree with the other newspapers in France etc which have taken a stand in solidarity with the Danish newspaper by published the cartoons in accordance with the principles of free speech.

Nothing wrong with a few satirical cartoons about Islam, or any any matter on this planet. What scares me the most is that first world democratic countries like Britain have decided to give in to extremism and religious fundamentalists by refusing to condone the publication of simple hand drawn cartoons. A newspapers like the Sun, which regularly features naked women, images of extreme violence etc will not print these silly cartoons. Have I mentioned that these are just cartoons? Has the whole world gone PC mad?

Thank Allah for a Danish newspaper, they have shown us just how bizarre the world has really become, makes me want to be a redneck!

DSC00492.jpg

Originally uploaded by Grayskullduggery.

I bought a new snowboarding jacket, whatdya think? Check out Grayskulls boarding photos.

Snowboard Jan ‘06

Originally uploaded by David Fisher.

Yeehaa, the snowboarding photos are now up, so go and check em out!

Oktoberfest Sep ‘06

Originally uploaded by David Fisher.

Last year I had such a bender at the Oktoberfest with Kramer that I honestly don’t think I can go back. It was just too hard core. I loved every minute of it but I was really feeling my age when I got back to work. Anyway I’ve uploaded the photos of us so go check it.

I say goddamn the last year has gone quickly, my space on the net will be a year old shortly and that means I qualify for the upcoming SA Blog awards under the category best SA Blog written by a South African abroad. Dats me outties and after my last post I thought why not get in on the act! The Dawg will be getting my vote in this category and unless he gets stitched up by an aunty living in London writing about food then I think he should walk away with the honours.

However if you, after reading this, being my mate and all, want to nominate me for this category I would be much obliged. Just email sablogawards@gmail.com  and inform them, no, tell them that you want to nominate Wozafriday for the Best Blog written by a South African Abroad. The prize money is R10,000 in casino vouchers, I will walk into a casino and put it all on the Red, if I win all the money will go to a charity of your choice, if I lose then I leave with nothing. I’ll let you know how it goes but no doubt you’ve already guessed the outcome.

Oh, my vote for best blog will go to Chumpstyle with Splattermail getting the most humorous blog vote. 

If you’re interested in checking it out, this post got the award last year for post of the year, one amazing piece of nostalgic writing.

After almost a year of running this site I thought I’d remind you about some of the posts I’ve bashed into the keyboard to date.

Bombay and my operation

FA Cup Final

Dubai

Washington DC

Live 8 in Hyde Park

Oktoberfest

Tallinn Estonia

Interviewed by Discovery Channel

Paris Rugby trip

I don’t even think that covers half of the places and things I did last year not to mention all the london piss-ups and partys I went to like Zomes in Hospital, Manors maketh the Party, Tugboats, Convertibles and Kramerisms, Party with Kelly Osbourne etc etc ad infinitum

Not to mention all the political posts  - The Right to Vote, Its a BOOM, Jacob and the lucky packet etc etc

And of course all the sports posts and fun lovin rugby ones. I’ve always wanted a diary but never had the self discipline, having a look thru some of these posts has brought memories flooding back. “Life is a journey, not a destination!” according to the Nissan advert Mr Miyagi.

Out in Austria we managed to get into a club were the infamous DJ Spicer was playing, I managed to get this shot of him before the bouncers threw me out!

My favourite sporting competion begins next weekend, the Super 14! I can’t wait, I haven’t really got much on the go this weekend so ideally I’d like to be able to gather the troops and head to Zulus in Putney for a few snakey’s and some SA comraderie round the big screen. Well its not ALL doom and gloom this weekend as I wait for the Super 14 to begin. There is a little competion called the 6 Nations starting this weekend. My pick for 6 Nations, easy, France by the length of a rugby field, it’ll be like taking a rugby ball from Pieter Roussouw.   

MY Super 14 pick is a little harder, I think the Stormers will surprise most this season by finishing top of the SA teams closely followed by the Sharks. Bulls will finish mid table and Cats will get pillared. Get this people, an SA team will win the Super 14 this year, mark my words!

PS: This new version of Wordpress is starting to piss me off, I can’t upload images in full size format anymore, it’ll only let me do thumbnail size, need to sort it fast……Grayskulllllllll..help……….

 Too funny, the similarities are astounding except Alfred is pulling a face and Matt has just swallowed a Vodka beer depth charge!

Whilst still on the topic of our snowboarding holiday check out a video that grayskull has uploaded - check it out here!

“There was a Saffa called Dave

Who was extremely brave

He gunned down the jumps

As if they were bumps, for he definitely wasn’t afraid!”

Go and check out his website - Maddogs Box, he definitley achieved the best “on-camera” jump of the weekend, partly due to his pyschotic approach to snowboarding.

“There was a man called Monk

Who couldn’t find the top bunk

He tried the kickers

Whilst completely schickered

With his balls sticking out of his trunks”

 All true about the monk but unfortunately he doesn’t have his own site.

Wow sometimes I’m left smarting at how dumb South African white people are.

Bafana Bafana the SA football team have just been hopelessly caned in the African Cup of Nations. Now there are about 44 million people in SA, and about 38 million of these people are black. The overwhelming black majority are crazy about football and have no interest whatsoever in rugby. Football is now at an amazing low and the nation is embarrased, even the president has had a dig at the national side.

If white people really wanted to grow the game of rugby (traditionally a white sport) in SA then NOW would be the perfect time. But instead alas, most whites complain about quotas, the governments lack of support (verging on destruction) of rugby and the effect that these two things have on the National side. Well right now our rugby team is really doing well, as it should, but this is only on the back of participation from less than 10% of the population. If you want the government to spend money and help rugby especially at grassroots you HAVE to obtain a wider involvement across the demographic spectrum of SA. Isn’t that obvious! Money is not heavily invested in Jukskei ‘cos nobody plays the bloody game. Rugby will die in SA slowly but surely if we don’t get the black population involved. The only way to do that is through quotas, by forcing coaches, clubs, unions and backers to go out and develop talent.

Still though, for every one white person you meet who understands in detail the purpose of quotas you meet hundreds who only want to win tomorrows game and don’t want to see a white player sitting on the bench in favour of a black player who is not as good. The majority of these people are NOT rascist they just want to see the best player playing, BUT if a coach is continually forced to play the weaker black player he will surely go out and find/develop/nurture black players who will become the best. That will have a knockon effect all the way down to Under 8 year rugby. Now people, stop complaing and get developing, can you imagine how invincible we will be when 44 million people are rugby mad! 

Just upgraded to Wordpress 2 after waiting for Grayskull to be the guinea pig and to get a bit of support from him. If any of you are still running Wordpress 1.5 put aside a few hours and upgrade. The new version is ACE!!! It was really easy to upgrade and not as daunting as I expected.