Are these guys completely crazy. Its little wonder the Aussies are gonna get thumped this weekend! Read this article posted by Mark Keohane on what the Australians call team building!?
Aussies make a meal of bonding session
July 28, 2005A team bonding session for the Wallabies added more embarrassment to the embattled tourists when the carefree players left their notes at a restaurant in Cape Town.
Jonathan Ancer, in the Independent Newspapers, writes that the squad met at The Tank, a trendy local cocktail bar in Green Point, on Tuesday night in a bid to put a stop to the Wallabies’ wobbles.
The Aussies left behind the results of their team talk - and it makes for some pretty bizarre reading.
Team managers presented the players with The Alive Scenario - who to cook?, based on the story of a Uruguayan club rugby team whose plane crashed in the Andes mountains in 1972. Some of the team members ate some of their dead team-mates in order to survive.
On Tuesday night each member of the Aussie team was asked to nominate a team-mate to be “sacrificed in the name of culinary delights” if a plane had to go down. Afterwards, they left their questionnaires lying on the tables at the restaurant.
The instructions state: “You must nominate a player for each dish and how you would prepare them. Ways to present them include on a spit, marinated, skewered, boiled, in dumplings etc. Be creative, But it is your view only. No comparing notes!!!!”
Poor Matt Dunning. The porky prop, fined AUS$500 for being out at an inappropriate hour, seemed to make it on to most players’ menu.
Wing Lote Tuqiri said he would prepare him for starters. “Plenty enough to go around for a fair size entree, with sweet and sour sauce.”
Dunning is also skipper George Gregan’s choice of main dish “sweet pork, slowly roasted”.
And who would Tuqiri have for desert? Morgan Turinui, who has a podgy centre. “The amount of sweets he puts in, it’s got to rub off in his meat somewhere,” Tuqiri said.
Flyhalf Stephen Larkham would chomp down on Drew Mitchell’s nuts for dessert. “Very rare, quite a big feed, never been used.”
What would undoubtedly be hard to stomach is Chris “Can Cook” Whitaker’s starter. The reserve scrumhalf would prepare flanker Rocky Elsom’s fried foreskin in butter, garlic, chilli and parsley. Nice.
Aussie team manager Lachlan Searle said on Wednesday that the questionnaires weren’t meant for public, er, consumption.
Another Public Relations winner for the Wobblies.
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